shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
