I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
