I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
