So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
