2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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