I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
