he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
