I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
