ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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