A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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