Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
