I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Acid is not a monday night drug
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
