well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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