I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
