Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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