my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
