He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
