if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is wine microwaveable?
it's like iHOP with fire
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
