life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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