all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
