she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
