At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
