Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
