we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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