12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
