I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
