I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So apparently I’m into choking now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
