Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
