By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
