At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
