on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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