Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
