he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
