he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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