Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize