also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
