I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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