Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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