hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
