its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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