They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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