I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
