At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize