I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
