Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Randomize
