I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
