No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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