I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
