Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
