I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Green mimosas i think yes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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