I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
