Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
