Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
